Saturday, 4 March 2017

Let's Talk About Viacom's "Flagship Six": Nickelodeon

Between the preschool block and Nick@Nite, there isn't much wiggle room for Nickelodeon to air anything besides their new and current programming. It's a perfect analogy to how crappy cable networks have become: Not only is Nickelodeon is only concerned with shows that get high ratings, with anything that doesn't getting banished to Nicktoons, but it seems the flagship channel will only air fresh new programming in the mere six or seven hours it has to itself.

That means even if something like the Loud House doesn't trip in the ratings like Harvey Beaks before it, even if Nickelodeon continually renews the show until the end of time, they don't have to air new episodes on the main channel. Right off the bat, that's a MAJOR problem the internet has with Nick. Nick Jr. is now a flagship channel as well. Does this mean Nickelodeon will dump any "underperforming" show onto that network from now on? Better question: Will Nickelodeon let someone who actually knows what the hell they're doing handle this and stop letting stupid kids run their network?

It's even worse than Cartoon Network, because at least Cartoon Network gives fair exposure to the shows that they give a crap about (as opposed to the shows that people actually want to see) and they operate on a much smaller scale than Nickelodeon does. Nickelodeon has a lot more to lose than the other networks, while most of the problems with Cartoon Network as of late could be solved if Dixie Carter wasn't in charge.

No, I'm not apologizing for that reference.

As part of Viacom's five-point plan, non-flagship networks will have their resources drained to fuel programming and events for networks like Nickelodeon. Nick Jr targets a slightly different audience than the rest of Nick's networks and, as such, is also a flagship network.

Was this the end game all along? NickMom? Winx Club? Oggy and the Cockroaches? This is all programming that have no business on a preschool network; the only logical excuse was ratings. I'm probably giving them too much credit or, considering how Nick Jr's decay was stupid, unnecessary, and shouldn't have happened in the first place (Kinda like Nickelodeon's involvement with Winx Club), I'm not giving them enough of the crap that they deserve.

So that leaves us with Nicktoons (or as the unfunny pricks are accurately calling it, "Nick Too") and TeenNick. There's no denying that TeenNick's days are numbered. No matter how successful their retro block was, TeenNick is still the spinoff that gets the least love. I want to say cancelling Degrassi was a big mistake, but...

Relaunching Nicktoons as a defacto secondary channel for Nick programming would be a no-brainer. They barely give a focus on animation anyways and the network has more clearance than TeenNick does. It wouldn't take much to move The Splat to Nicktoons; Nickelodeon has already dumped damn near everything else onto Nicktoons anyways!

TeenNick is pretty much a pre-pubescent MTV, there's almost no need for it to exist. I know I'm probably missing something from a business standpoint, but from a branding standpoint, I don't see the appeal in this network outside of The Splat. Not that turning TeenNick "into" the Splat is a good idea, quite the opposite. MTV already tried their hand at a retro network with MTV Classic and, whether it was low ratings or poor management, it didn't work.

In conclusion, there is a lot of work than needs to be done at Nickelodeon, especially with the mothership channel. All I can say is: Thank goodness YTV isn't this bad.


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